Monday, June 22, 2009

Doing much better now

Well I've decided that I probably shouldn't post anything after just having found out bad news and also when needing a nap! My apologies to all who read the last post, things are looking better now. I have started adjusting my menu ideas to eat healthier and take care of this baby girl- not to mention myself! Thanks to you all for caring and for the encouragement and support, you are all amazing! I love you so much!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A huge blow to my already high-strung emotions

AAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!! I just don't know how much more I can take! This pregnancy from the start was not planned and definitely a surprise! As time has progressed, I have, or still am trying to accept that this is real and ready or not, here comes number five. In order to be okay with how close she and Creed will be, I have to not think about it at all. I can't, or I start having anxiety!
So week 28 rolls around, and low and behold, what do I find out??? I not only failed the one hour glucose test, but failed two out of three of the three hour test also! This means I now have gestational diabetes and have to go to a diabetes clinic and who knows what else it means.
I can tell you what it means to me... fear! Fear of the unknown, fear of an overly big baby, fear of having to have a C section from a doctor that is all too "for" that! i don't know if getting a new doctor would make any difference or not at this point. Would a different doctor tell me different results? I just don't know anymore, and I'm scared! If any of you moms have dealt with this or can give me anything positive to look for, please don't hesitate!
sorry about the tone of this post, but at this point, all I can wonder is "will the tears never end?"!